I read The Straits Times article on Parliament: Move to extend maintenance payments to some men a ‘calibrated’ measure.
I have the following thoughts:
Why don’t try to make a marriage work instead?
Where are the vows till death does us apart?
If women are to contribute equally to a household, work, give birth, age and gain weight due to pregnancy, breastfeed etc, why should they support a man who cannot kept his original promise of loving and taking care of her till death does them apart? (A woman sacrifices for her family.)
A man should be the one to take care of the family. It always have been. That’s man’s ego!
Women work to contribute to the family and both her work and children suffer as there is no way to “have it all”. There is no work life balance. It’s not that she really wants to bring home the money.
She may not get to remarry, unlike divorced men. Women are depreciating assets, unlike men. Men also prefer not to marry women with kids as they may deem them as burdens.
Divorced men are more likely to get remarried as they are more single women out there than single men as we age.
So why does a woman need to support a man? In the first place, why is there a need to support each other after divorce? I understand the point that women need support as some may be housewives or women are generally earning a lower income or they are the ones taking care of the children. Or it’s their ex husbands who were unfaithful to them.
Men and women marry because of love and responsibility. Love evolves. When one said “I don’t love him or her anymore.”. It’s not that you don’t love, it’s the passion or lust is gone.
You get to see the worst of the partner after marriage. No make up. No fake eyelashes. No more firmly boobs but saggy ones. No more tiny waist. But remember, her body and looks change because of what she had gone through giving birth to your children. She aged. You aged too. Your hairline started to recede. Your stomach turned into a flabby tummy. You fart without blinking your eyelid. Your smelly mouth when you woke up in the morning. Your snores when she is trying to get back to sleep after breastfeeding the baby. She also accepted you.
I’m not saying that it’s the men’s fault when divorce happened. But there’s always higher chance that a man has an affair compared to the woman. But if there’s no affair, then a couple should rethink what’s went wrong. Why don’t save the marriage, instead of giving it up? There’s no perfect marriage, man or woman. Marriage is give and take. It’s about communication and commitment.
Why reach a point to fight for alimony? Why don’t think of the other party’s good point? Think of why you marry him or her in the first place. Think of your essential needs which he has possess, instead of what you want him to be but he doesn’t.